From the Department of "No, I don't watch TV"

Last weekend we watched Season 10 of The Amazing Race.

But first, let me explain. I still don’t watch TV. Not really. We have one, a little TV/VCR combo that I got from my parents, who have long since moved on to bigger and better TVs. Movie Dictator puts it on occasionally – to clear his head after hours of writing, to watch some Jerry Springer, or to wake me up in the morning. Speaking of which, I do understand the appeal of morning shows. There’s nothing worse than having to get up early in the morning when you feel like the rest of the world is still in bed. Fortunately, you have the well-dressed and perky TV hosts to keep you company. There they are --sipping their coffee in their well-lit studios. It’s sort of good to have them chirping in the background, though after an hour or so, they start to get on my nerves and I turn the TV off.

Now, back to the Amazing Race. This was my first serious exposure to the modern-day reality TV – yes, I know, I’ve been living under a rock -- and I sort of fell in love with it. Not with the reality TV, that is, but with this particular show.

First of all, it involves traveling around the world! Granted, I would prefer a more contemplative way to see the world. Something along the lines of Michael Palin’s documentary (Around the World in 80 Days). Still, there’s much excitement in trying to guess which country the contestants will get sent to next and watching them navigate unfamiliar cities and cultures.

What’s even more interesting is the dynamics among the contestants, especially within each team. The married/dating couples seemed to fight a lot more than the couples of friends. Is it because they tend to take each other for granted? Because they have issues to begin with? My favorite team was the couple of beauty queens (Miss California and Miss New York). I didn’t expect to like them, but I found myself really admiring how they handled all the challenges. Throughout the whole thing, they were mostly staying positive and having fun. They never turned on each other. And they were amazing at pep talks and encouragements. (Not surprising, I guess, given their occupations.) Needless to say, the other teams hated their confidence and sense of fun. But to me, they were a great example of how to treat life as an adventure (as opposed to the source of angst and suffering) and how to go through it with a partner.

The show also made me feel competitive. I kept thinking: could I do it? I grew up with back problems, which meant wearing a brace, attending a special school, and not being allowed to run or ride a bicycle. So I’m not exactly athletic. But could I be? One of the contestants on the show had an artificial leg, which didn’t stop her from running, climbing, etc. (I’d love to tell you that having watched the show, I immediately started exercising. But no, I haven’t even made it back to yoga yet.)

The thing is, Movie Dictator and I could probably get on this show. I mean, we have a good story: he’s from South Africa, I’m from Russia. We met on the subway. We’re both writers. I could learn to ride a bicycle. He could learn to drive…

I don’t care about being on TV, seriously! But I’d love to test myself, to try all these challenges – like climbing up the Great Wall of China, composing a hip-hop song, or driving a Ukrainian tank.

The biggest challenge, though, would be not to freak out. Not to give in to stress or panic. Not to take our frustration on each other.

And no, we’re not going to apply. For one thing, they don’t allow smokers and Movie Dictator has no intention of quitting. And for another thing, he’s like no way, you get stressed driving to Logan airport, let alone Chennai, India. And, of course, he’s got a point. Still, not all is lost. I might get my act together and start exercising regularly. I might even learn to ride a bicycle one day.

In the meantime, we’re not done with reality shows yet. On the agenda this weekend: Survivor: Season 13.